YOUR MALEFACTORS

[Appetite Ruining Kebab]

YOUR MALEFACTORS

We're an alliance of enterprising individuals on a mission of venture capital

Our trade is anarchy

Our monopoly is violence

Our competitor is CMB
(you think you're so cool with your daddy's Overworld assets? FUCK YOU)



OUR PROJECTS

- ESTABLISHMENT OF AN AUTONOMOUS COMMUNE IN DISTRICT 2 WITH IGA RECOGNITION

- CAMPAIGN FOR CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE

- XEN FLORA RIGHTS MOVEMENT
(stop killing plants!!)

- MINIMAL CLASS CHARITY ASSOCIATION
(funded with collaborator tears)



FOR CONSULTATION & RECRUITMENT

237.1

Your application should consist of the most heinous joke about Wallace Breen
If I laugh you're in

We also trash talk with CPs, oinkers feel free to tune in

- Roj​

 

[ATLIEN]

I wonder how long will it last until one of the members actually comes infront of a cp to shit talk them

 

[Appetite Ruining Kebab]

I wonder how long will it last until one of the members actually comes infront of a cp to shit talk them

the implication is that it will happen over radio à la twitter argument

thanks for the vote of confidence though

 

[Aspect™]

the implication is that it will happen over radio à la twitter argument

thanks for the vote of confidence though

"Fuck you!"
"<:: Fuck you, too. ::>"
""
""
"Alright, see you tomorrow."
"<:: Goodnight ::>"

 

[ATLIEN]

the implication is that it will happen over radio à la twitter argument

thanks for the vote of confidence though

II like these type of groups but I hate that one of the members can't control themselves and genuinely insults one of the officers infront of them and probably gets them severely beaten

 

[Dr. Ternith Plague]

Can't wait to see the post-modern era of HL2-styled twitter arguments.

This is gonna be hilarious, and I'm just gonna grab and stash a radio for the sole purpose of listening in.

 

[CJ]

Bro is that the destiny hive symbol?

 

[Appetite Ruining Kebab]

Bro is that the destiny hive symbol?

Roj's lack of creativity (and plagiarism) is completely IC ...

 

[Melonarche]

thanks for the public radio frequency
i'll be using it more than you lmao

 

[Appetite Ruining Kebab]

Check out what some idiot did to these beautiful posters

We congratulate our Marx-loving revolutionaries on a job well done - you have hammered the establishment's skull and stuck a sickle in its gut.
Bravo

Your Malefactors were more than happy to help of course. And if that sounds like an advertisement, that's because it is. Employ us if you need shit done, if the pay's good (tokens/goods/services) nothing's off-limits

EMPLOY US


STANDUP COMEDY & RECRUITMENT NIGHT

THIS FRIDAY

5PM UTC
TO
6PM UTC

I'll be on air to take your Breen jokes and your applications or just talk about existentially depressing shit

237.1

I spent the weekend snorting Xenny and forgot to turn on my radio then had an epiphany about scheduling stuff

If you're poor and have 0 access to telecommunication just run around you-know-where when it's time

Short Live Our Malefactors

​

 

[Appetite Ruining Kebab]

STANDUP COMEDY & RECRUITMENT NIGHT

THIS FRIDAY

5PM UTC
TO
6PM UTC

I'll be on air to take your Breen jokes and your applications or just talk about existentially depressing shit

237.1

I spent the weekend snorting Xenny and forgot to turn on my radio then had an epiphany about scheduling stuff

If you're poor and have 0 access to telecommunication just run around you-know-where when it's time

Short Live Our Malefactors

​

1 hour to this

 

[ATLIEN]

cant wait to attend (Every cp listening)

 

[Appetite Ruining Kebab]

cant wait to attend (Every cp listening)

You were literally invited you overgrown poodle

 

[ATLIEN]

I was?

 

[aqua]

I was?

"oinkers feel free to tune in"

 

[Metrotider]

I was?

We also trash talk with CPs, oinkers feel free to tune in

 

[ATLIEN]

O- great

 

[Appetite Ruining Kebab]

1 hour to this

15 min late while i connect

 

[Appetite Ruining Kebab]

YOUR MALEFACTORS DERAILED THE TRAIN

WE TAKE COMPLETE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE TRAIN

WE DERAILED THE FUCKING TRAIN

As I write this I'm holding a bundle of bolts meant for the train tracks and giggling to myself like a maniac

We are not in the business of permanent revolution. We just have a couple of gentle requests (read: DEMANDS) and all our benefactors have to do is sign off on them to bring a halt to our campaign of negotiation (read: TERROR)

And I really mean bring to a halt, because BOY if you think this is my magnum opus you are so fucking wrong we're just getting started


Ok here they are

MANIFESTO FOR AN ANTI-CITIZEN SOCIETY

The following clauses are to be approved by the Interim Global Authority, ratified by the City Administrator, and enforced by Overwatch:

ONE
Recognition of the settlement known as 'The Refuge' under the classification of an Autonomous Commune by Overwatch; granting it special status and legitimacy as an independent state.

TWO
Recognition of 'Rojhat Said' and 'Aslan Akbey' as the leaders of AUTONOMOUS COMMUNE 8

THREE
Recognition of the governing, military, medical arms of Autonomous Commune 8 under the following names; PERMANENT LOCAL ANARCHY, UNCIVIL ENDANGERMENT CORPS, ORGAN HARVESTER INDUSTRIES respectively.

FOUR
Recognition of the two topmost floors of DISTRICT 2 SHOPPING CENTER as the territories of Autonomous Commune 8, granting it the accompanying privileges: Immunity from any and all Overwatch sweeps, aerial shellings (headcrab or otherwise), illegal reconnaissance attempts (scanners, spies etc.)

FIVE
The Governor must come on TV with a set of jugglers and play with them for at least 12 seconds without dropping a single ball.
(NON NEGOTIABLE)


END OF DOCUMENT


im sure all of this sounds ridiculous (im an aspiring writer be nice to me) but its going to start sounding a lot less ridiculous as we keep laying waste to your city so maybe

take some time

to think it over

you know how to reach me

Happy Import Day!!!​

 

[deathwolf]

​

this music makes the worms in my brain crawl.

the bugs are back.